Adoption is a life event that reshapes the course of children and families alike. When a child comes into a new family through adoption, it is merely the start of a rich and complex process. Development of children who have been adopted into new families is a result of multiple variables—e.g., child’s age at adoption, pre-adoption history, adoptive family context, and the broader social context. With love, support, and knowledgeable parenting, most adopted children develop well, though their developmental courses are different from non-adopted children in subtle ways.
One of the most important areas of development in an adopted child is attachment. Attachment theory assumes that children form emotional bonds with caregivers on which all subsequent relationships are based. Adopted infants or young children usually form secure attachments more quickly than those adopted at an older age, especially those with prior histories of neglect, institutionalization, or trauma.
A study in the journal Child Development demonstrates that although adopted children create close, trusting relationships in the end, they do so at a slower rate than with biological children. The most important ingredients for success are consistency, emotional availability, and patience on the part of parents who are adopting.
Adopted children, and particularly older children, are likely to encounter some specific special challenges related to identity development. They might be confronted with such issues as
As concluded by a study conducted by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, family openness to adoption provides opportunity for better identity formation. Children are supported when they are allowed to query and investigate their background in an open environment.
Transracial or cross-cultural adoptions may add another layer to identity formation. Children may experience difficulties with cultural differences or feel isolated as a result of racial or ethnic mismatches. Families who actively work at using pieces of the child’s heritage—language, cultural tradition, or endorsement from their community—help to form a resilient, integrated sense of self.
Adopted children’s cognitive development and achievement are not always commensurate, especially as a result of pre-adoption experiences. Adopted children who have come from orphanages or from foster care might also have suffered early neglect, which has been associated by studies with possible language, memory, and executive function delays.
But repeatedly throughout the research, adopted children are shown to catch up and even excel once they are placed in a nurturing, challenging setting. Adopted children are found to score at or near the mean on IQ tests and academic success, particularly when adopted as newborns or under the age of two, in a meta-analysis released by Psychological Bulletin.
Supportive parenting, early intervention, and access to quality education are essential in facilitating adopted children to achieve their optimal educational potential.
Psychological outcomes for children adopted are multifaceted. There does seem to be some evidence, as found in research from the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, that children who have been adopted are slightly at risk for depression, anxiety, and conduct problems, especially those who experience a history of trauma or living in multiple placements.
Yet, care must be exercised not to generalize. The vast majority of adopted children are well adjusted and of normal emotional capacity. Mental illness, when present, is more a function of earlier stress than adoption.
Families who value mental health—through going to counseling, being open with each other, and exposing feelings—are most responsible for fostering resilience and emotional strength.
How children grow up as they are adopted largely relies on parenting style and family relationships. Research highlights a number of particular parenting techniques that facilitate healthy development:
Encouragement and routine discipline to foster trust and boundaries.
Cultural competence where cross-cultural or transracial adoption exists.
Emotional support throughout identity exploration, adolescence, and significant milestones like birthdays or adoption anniversary celebrations.
Parents who are trauma-informed and always attuned to their child’s individual emotional needs provide a setting where children are at ease, accepted, and empowered.
Peer acceptance and friendships play an important role in shaping the child. In adopted children, particularly those who are obviously different from their family (e.g., another culture or race), social integration sometimes may be difficult.
Diverse and inclusive communities and schools can do a lot of work to reduce this. Support groups composed of peers for adoptees can also give kids an outlet to discuss their experiences and fewer feelings of isolation.
Adoption is not a one-time event—it is something that happens throughout a lifetime. The questioning and feelings of being adopted may resurface at specific times in life: adolescence, becoming a parent, or experiencing significant life changes. Families who establish an open culture of adoption and empower the child’s story lay the groundwork for long-term psychological health and relationship satisfaction.
Adolescence and adulthood, however, are more likely to be marked by a constructive sense of identity, belonging, and gratitude for the family they now have. Adopted children more often than not learn to adapt and appreciate happiness, success, and fulfillment, most likely in spite of, but possibly not because of, any challenges related to adoption.
Adopted children become adults in their new homes with the same chances for happiness, achievement, and fulfillment as any other child. Whatever paths their lives might lead them to follow, though, an adoptive family that is willing to offer support can give them the stability and love they must have to succeed. Openness of communication, cultural awareness, and availability of services are all possible doors to opening up the ability of adopted children to succeed emotionally, in school, and socially throughout their lifetime.
Also Read: 8 Essential Parenting Skills To Develop To Be A Good Parent
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